How To Explain Anxiety To Your Friends and Family
It’s not just about “worrying”.
by Rachel Linder
Getting that official diagnosis can be such a relief. A lot of the time individuals can be experiencing symptoms of anxiety for years before getting a diagnosis, so even though putting a label on it can be terrifying, there’s also a part of it that can finally bring some peace. Not to mention, it puts you on a track to start searching for help and treatments that work for you. But, it’s very easy for this process to become extremely overwhelming very quickly. And even if you aren’t officially diagnosed with anxiety, but you experience symptoms, it can be difficult to explain exactly what it feels like to be having those thoughts and feelings. But, this doesn’t mean you should have to go it alone.
Anxiety has this way of making you feel alone even when you’re not, so it’s really important that when it comes time to talk to friends and family about your anxiety that you do it in a way that makes it easier for them to understand. Don’t shut them out just because the idea of telling them is scary. There are certain things you can do that will allow them to understand what it means to have anxiety even if they don’t have it themselves.
The first that is crucial to do before explaining anxiety, even if you’re someone who suffers from it yourself, is to do your research. Just because you have the diagnosis or you feel the worries, doesn’t mean you have all the answers. By beginning to do some investigating, you’ll allow for a clearer understanding of anxiety for yourself, which will ultimately lead to a clearer understanding for others.
Once you do the research, it’s important to self-reflect. Sitting down for this conversation with loved ones about anxiety might not be easy. In fact, it’ll probably be anxiety-inducing itself. So think about the symptoms you suffer from, the coping mechanisms that help you get through difficult days, any trigger words you might have—reflecting on the relationship you have with anxiety is what will provide loved ones with that insight that they need to support you best.
After reflecting, write it down. When you go to speak with your friends or family about your anxiety, there’s going to be a lot to remember. By jotting down notes in advance, you’ll feel prepared to and likely more ready to have this conversation.
Finally, one aspect of this conversation that will be extremely helpful to your loved ones is explaining exactly what they can do to be there for you. Of course, as the one going through the anxiety day-to-day it’s hard–no one is denying that. But, you must also appreciate the difficulty for those watching you go through that worrying. It’s this discussion that will allow them to feel most helpful moving forward when it comes to helping to manage your anxiety.
If you’re not sure exactly where to start, author JR Thorpe for Bustle wrote a compelling article that helps to give loved ones an idea of exactly what you’re going through. Some key phrases that Thorpe cites, and we thought could be ideal starting points for this conversation are things like:
It’s not just about “worrying”.
Just because a worry is “irrational” doesn’t mean it doesn’t hold power.
A panic attack feels dangerous, even if it isn’t.
PTSD isn’t just for soldiers.
It can feel like you’re anticipating danger all the time.
By starting with prompts like these and delving into your own specific relationship with anxiety, your family and friends will be able to more easily see exactly what it means to be you. No matter what you’re feeling, by giving loved ones the deep insight into yourself, they’re better able to support you and be there for you through it all—and that’s truly the most important thing.